Why Don't French People Hug? (2024)

The French Don't Hug, but Here's How You Say Hug in French

Why Don't French People Hug? (1)

Depending in large part on where you're from, a hug between friends can be the most natural thing in the world—or an invasion of your personal space. Hugging is often tied to culture. Generally speaking, a majority of Americans hug frequently. Americans often hug acquaintances and even strangers to say thank you for an act of kindness or to offer comfort. The same doesn't ring true for all countries. In France, hugging is much less common.

Hugging in France

The French very rarely hug. In France, hugs are not a part of daily life. Unlike Americans, the French do not use hugging as a greeting. Instead, they kiss cheeks (faire la bise) informally and shake hands in formal settings. Because they are not given often, hugs tend to make French people uncomfortable and can easily seem like an invasion of personal space. Hugs are not normal between strangers, acquaintances, or even most friends and family. If at all, they are usually reserved for young children or lovers. And even then, French hugs are often not a big bear hug or a full body press.

To avoid awkward situations when encountering international people, it is helpful to be aware of cultural differences. Hugs are not to the French what they are to Americans, which is why it is best to avoid hugging French people unless they initiate it. When greeting a French person and you're unsure about how to kiss cheeks, the safe way to go is to shake hands.

How Do You Say 'Hug' in French?

In spoken French, the most used term for "hug" is câlin, despite the fact that câlin is a noun that literally means "cuddle" rather than "hug." The term is used in informal situations. Less conventionally used nouns for hugging are une étreinte (which can also mean grip or stranglehold) or the literary term une embrassade (which Le Petit Robert defines as the action of two people who hug amicably).

As for translations of the verb "to hug," there are embrasser (to embrace, but more commonly to kiss), étreindre (to embrace, but also to grasp, seize), and serrer dans ses bras (to hold tightly in one's arms).

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Team, ThoughtCo. "Do People Hug in France?" ThoughtCo, Apr. 5, 2023, thoughtco.com/hugging-in-france-1368573.Team, ThoughtCo. (2023, April 5). Do People Hug in France? Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/hugging-in-france-1368573Team, ThoughtCo. "Do People Hug in France?" ThoughtCo. https://www.thoughtco.com/hugging-in-france-1368573 (accessed March 24, 2024).

Why Don't French People Hug? (2024)

FAQs

Is hugging not common in France? ›

You do not greet French people with a hug (unless it's a child). You do cheek kisses called les bises. Sometimes it's one on each cheek and depending on your social circle and region of France, you may go for 3 or 4 bises. But whatever you do, don't go in for the hug…

What does a hug mean in France? ›

Unlike Americans, the French do not use hugging as a greeting. Instead, they kiss cheeks (faire la bise) informally and shake hands in formal settings. Because they are not given often, hugs tend to make French people uncomfortable and can easily seem like an invasion of personal space.

Do French people hug goodbye? ›

Whether to say hello, goodbye, or thank you, Americans usually hug, whereas the French kiss cheeks and shake hands. This cultural difference can lead to unpleasant situations.

Why do French people kiss cheeks? ›

What is la bise? Although you might not have heard the term before, you'll be familiar with this very French way of saying hello. "La bise" is the greeting where a person gently bumps cheeks against another person, while making a kissing sound (basically, an 'air kiss'). "La bise" literally just means "kiss" in French.

Which country hugs the most? ›

In which countries did people show the most affectionate touch towards their partners? The number one country was Austria (97.3), followed by Germany (96.8) and Cuba (95.8).

Is it okay to smile in France? ›

It's just a cultural tendency around here to be more insular and guarded. This is not to say that Parisians don't ever smile – it's just considered by many locals to be disingenuous to be smiling all the time or toward strangers as we Americans (transplants included) do.

What is the French kiss? ›

A French kiss, also known as cataglottism or a tongue kiss, is an amorous kiss in which the participants' tongues extend to touch each other's lips or tongue. A kiss with the tongue stimulates the partner's lips, tongue and mouth, which are sensitive to the touch and induce sexual arousal.

Do French people cuddle? ›

There is "calin", which is more akin to a cuddle and unlikely to be shared between anyone except lovers or parents and their children. Other words or phrases are typically more romantic-sounding. Upon arriving in France, I learned really quickly that you don't hug to say hi. Not even family members.

How do the French show affection? ›

The French may be the masters of flirtation, but their true affection is actually more reserved than you might expect. This is because people are more focused on getting to know someone. Therefore, sleeping together is seen as expressing a deeper form of affection.

Is it rude to not say bonjour? ›

Make sure you say Bonjour, or else you'll be considered very rude. And when you leave, you should say “goodbye”, as well. You'd typically say “Bonne journée” (“Have a nice day”).

Is it normal to kiss friends in France? ›

Most people give each other two kisses on each cheek, but it all depends once again where you happen to be. In Brittany, one kiss on each cheek is considered enough, while in other parts of France it is considered normal to give three bises on each cheek. Some will take pleasure at giving four.

Is kissing a big deal in France? ›

In France, a kiss is actually one of two important greetings. The first is saying, “Bonjour” and the second is cheek-kissing. Whereas you say bonjour literally to everyone, the kissing is only exchanged with people you are familiar with – family members, close associates, in a social group, and with children.

Why do French say bisous? ›

Kissing on the cheek is called "bisous" and it is an important part of French culture. It is important to remember that these cheek kisses are not at all romantic. I learned about the tradition called bisous. Bisous is important to the French culture becuase it is how you can show politeness when meeting people.

What does a chin kiss mean? ›

A kiss on the chin and then a quick kiss

If they give you this type of kiss, they want to be playful and flirty with you. They want to prepare you before kissing you on the lips. Usually, if they try this type of kiss with you when they want to tell you that they like or loves you.

Why do guys French kiss a girl? ›

They like the way it feels, or the other person does, or both. Hopefully, and most often, both. Girls do it too, even with other girls, so it's not like guys are the only ones who like doing it. Often, tongue kissing is done because it feels more intimate than regular kissing.

Is hugging more intimate than kissing in France? ›

The French don't go around hugging each other like Americans do. Two kisses, lightly, on the cheeks does the job. It's a nice way to say “hello” or “goodbye.” Nothing more, nothing less. What are the official rules for "la bise" in France?

Is hugging normal in Europe? ›

Romance across Europe

Being demonstrative in public is seen as perfectly natural: people kiss and hug when they meet in the street; friends walk around arm-in-arm or holding hands; couples kiss and caress in the street. All of this is nothing out of the ordinary.

Is hugging common in Europe? ›

In Northern Europe, handshaking with verbal greetings are more common, whereas in Southern Europe hugging is more customary.

Do some cultures not hug? ›

Some cultures do not use hugging as a sign of affection or love, such as the Himba in Namibia.

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