25 Best Quotes From The Office (2024 Updated) (2024)

25 Best Quotes from The Office That’ll Make You Think, Laugh, and Cry

1. “Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” —Michael Scott.

S02, E06: “The Fight”

Michael did make every one of us love him, goodbye Michael!

2. “Right now, this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, this would be my career. And, uh, if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.” —Jim Halpert.

S01, E03: “Health Care”

We all know how it went from being Jim’s “job” to finally becoming an Assistant Regional Manager.

3. “I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs.” —Kevin Malone.

S03, E23: “Beach Games”

Kevin Malone is one of the most relatable characters in the show, as this is exactly what everyone wants to be doing.

4. “Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year.” —Dwight Schrute.

S03, E21: “Product Recall”

Who can ever forget Dwight’s angry remark against Jim when the latter impersonated the “Assistant to the Regional Manager.”

5. “I’m such a perfectionist that I'd kinda rather not do it at all than do a crappy version.” —Ryan Howard.

S06, E11: “Shareholder Meeting”

Ryan Howard is one of those cases when life just went in a downward spiral. A classic example was when Jim caught him playing Tetris and not finishing a simple data entry task.

6. “I wonder what people like about me. Probably my jugs.” —Phyllis Lapin-Vance.

S05, E01-02: “Weight Loss”

After saying “jugs,” the subtle smirk is hilarious - she knows it, and she’s proud. You go, girl!

7. “Everything I have I owe to this job… this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job.” —Jim Halpert.

S09, E24: “Finale”

Jim never really liked his job, but because of it, he found some steady friends, met the love of his life, and had a wonderful family.

8. “And I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.” —Pam Beesley.

S02, E01: “The Dundies”

Who can ever forget the only one party where Pam decides to get drunk and give a heartfelt monologue on being grateful to God for the Dundies?

9. “Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are too flashy, so I’m forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls.” —Angela Martin.

S03, E22: “Women’s Appreciation”

Angela Martin is not the best person to seek fashion advice from. This 82 pounder revealed skipping Gap Kids and using clothes from large colonial dolls. Angela Martin is sassy but not the best fashion icon.

10. “The worst thing about prison was the dementors.” —Michael Scott, a.k.a. “Prison Mike.”

S03, E09: “The Convict”

Prison Mike emerged from Michael’s perceived need to discourage his employees from romanticizing the clink.

11. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” —Michael Scott.

S04, E01-02: “Fun Run”

After hitting Meredith Palmer with a car, Michael tries to take the blame off of him by saying the office was cursed. It was a funny The Office episode, and we have to admit, sometimes we get a little “stitious” as well.

12. “I never thought I’d say this, but I think I ate too much bone marrow.” —Dwight Schrute.

S09, E24: “Finale”

After a horrible bachelor’s night, the gang finally had some decent meals. To the audience’s surprise, Dwight had a bit too much marrow for his liking.

13. “I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms.” —Michael Scott

S02, E03: “Office Olympics”

Michael Scott was never the best rhetorician and though he means well, sometimes what comes out is utter nonsense.

14. “I wanna do a cartwheel. But real casual-like. Not enough to make a big deal out of it, but I know everyone saw it. One stunning, gorgeous cartwheel.” —Creed Bratton.

S07, E13: “Ultimatum”

An avid writer on his make-believe blog, all he wanted was to do a stunning gorgeous cartwheel. Yes, Creed Bratton was a man of simple needs.

15. “I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.” —Michael Scott.

S04, E07-08: “Money”

Nobody likes facing real-life dilemmas, but this is what Michael Scott had to face when he had to work on the biggest company he could ever land.

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16. “I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.” —Creed Bratton.

S04, E01-02: “Fun Run”

From being a cult leader to owning a small fake ID company, he’s so mysterious that he doesn’t even know his role at Dunder-Mifflin! [1]

17. “We didn’t play many video games in Scranton. Instead, we’d do stuff like… uh, Pam and I would sometimes hum the same high-pitched note and try to get Dwight to make an appointment with an ear doctor. And, uh, Pam called it… pretendinitis.” —Jim Halpert.

S03, E03: “The Coup”

Jim missed the Scranton branch a lot at Stamford, and this is one of those moments he reminisced in front of the camera.

18. “Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.” —Stanley Hudson.

S08, E15: “Tallahassee”

Stanley was a man of few words, so you can be sure that when he speaks, he means it. What more can anyone ask for before they die?

19. “Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, then sometimes I actually do scream. I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for.” —Kelly Kapoor.

S08, E16: “After Hours”

If you’re looking for a confessional queen to bedazzle your day with sass, the situation calls for Kelly Kapoor. She’s a good source of Office quotes too!

20. “I don’t talk trash; I talk smack. They’re totally different. Trash talk is hypothetical like your mom is so fat she can eat the internet. But smack talk is happening like right now. Like: You’re ugly, and I know it for a fact ’cause I got the evidence right there.” —Kelly Kapoor.

S04, E12: “Deposition”

This quote needs no further introduction. Kelly Kapoor is the queen of sass, and she knows it!

21. “Me think, why waste time say lot word when few word do trick.” —Kevin Malone.

S08, E02: “The Incentive”

Yes, we agree, you said, Kevin. Why blurt out many words when you can say a few and mean the same thing?

22. “Powerpoints are the peaco*cks of the business world; all show, no meat.” — Dwight Schrute.

S08, E14: “Special Project”

This quote from Dwight made much more real sense hearing it now as a professional than it did the first time.

23. “Around this office, in the past, I have been a little abrupt with people. But the doctor said, if I can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die.” — Stanley Hudson.

S05, E14-15: “Stress Relief”

If you worked with the likes of Michael Scott and Andy Bernard for several years, you’d feel exactly what Stanley was feeling at this moment.

24. “I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.” — Michael Scott.

S04, E01-02: “Fun Run”

Everyone makes mistakes, in fact, and this will be a shocker; even Michael Scott does! His biggest yet? He hits Meredith with a car and blames Toby for it in his “compulsive need to be liked.”

25. “I don’t think it’s blackmail. Angela just does what I ask her to do, so I won’t tell everyone that she’s cheating on Andy with Dwight. I think for it to be blackmail, it would have to be a formal letter.” — Phyllis Lapin-Vance.

S05, E11: “Moroccan Christmas”

Andy Bernard had it rough with his relationship with Angela. What’s worse was that everyone knew about it, except the unsuspecting Andy Bernard. Phyllis loved manipulating Angela with the tea! [2]

26.“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” – Michael Scott

S05, The Duel

It reflects the character's tendency to speak without a clear direction, hoping to discover the meaning or purpose of the sentence as they go along.

27. “I don't care what they say about me, I just wanna eat. Which I realize is a lot to ask for. At a dinner party.” – Pam Beesly

S04, Dinner Party

Pam expresses her desire to enjoy a meal without being bothered by what others think of her.

28. “Ultimatums are key. Basically nobody does anything for me unless I threaten to kill myself.” –Kelly Kapoor

S07 Classy Christmas

Kelly sarcastically highlights her frustration with not being taken seriously unless she resorts to extreme measures like issuing ultimatums or threats.

29. “Whether you're scared of dying, or dying alone, or dying drunk in a ditch, don't be. It's going to be OK.” – Michael Scott

S07, Goodbye Michael

It conveys a message of comfort and optimism in the face of mortality.

30.I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream.” –Michael Scott

S09, Finale

It emphasizes the strong sense of camaraderie and familial connection within the office, as well as Michael's role as a mentor and paternal figure to his employees.

FAQs

What is the best inspirational quote from The Office?

One of the best inspirational quotes from The Office [3] is: "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."

This quote, spoken by Andy Bernard, reminds us to appreciate and cherish the present moment, recognizing that it may become a source of nostalgia and fond memories in the future.

What is the funniest quote from The Office?

One of the funniest quote from The Office is"Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way." - Michael Scott.

The contrast between his earnestness and his scattered thoughts adds comedic value to the quote.

Let’s Sum It Up!

Let’s get something straight - the show is amazing if you manage to remember iconic lines and one-liner quotable quotes from it. The Office is one of those comedy [4] gold TV series that happens once in every millennium.

What's your favorite quote from The Office? Let us know in the comment box!

If you’re looking for The Office toys and collectibles, then make sure to give our site a visit!

References:

1. https://screenrant.com/office-most-bizarre-offensive-quotes-reddit/
2. https://www.buzzfeed.com/samantharayjacobson/the-office-quotes
3. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0386676/
4. https://www.britannica.com/art/comedy